Monday, September 19, 2011
In Class Assignment
Behind the Counter in Fast Food Nation gives you the perspective of a teenage worker in a fast food chain. The fry cooks who flip patties all day or the cashier who says you want fries with that all day. As the chapter starts it foreshadows what it is going to elaborate on. When Colorado Springs was a gold mine town, they had legitimate thieves and bandits now they only have corporations which basically fulfill the same role. The old dirt road is where all the teens would go and have parties with a nice view of the city and sky. The kids we're enjoying life and not knowing what they're going to do. Mcdonalds, Wendy's, Burger King and so on are their modern day thiefs. The teenagers are being short changed because they are inexperienced and don't know what they're doing so they follow orders very well and they don't mind getting payed a small amount, they just want to get payed, naive if you will. The town has changed from an old time place to a town that one half has history and the other half has fast food.
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I like the reference to what use to be the Colorado Springs thieves in comparison to corporations who are seen as the new thieves of our nation. However for that example you should try separating the two components of the sentence into two separate sentences. For example, When Colorado Springs was a gold mine town; they had legitimate thieves and bandits. Now, they have corporations which basically fulfill the same role. You also have a good usage of key words that help the reader connect back to the original idea while using a great analogy to support your argument of children being taken advantage of in spite of their lack of knowledge or naiveness, so to speak. Also a better introduction to the whole piece is suggested, maybe one such as : Many things are uncovered when stepping behind the counter of the fast food industry…There a sense of suspense carries the reader into the bigger picture of the argument you are presenting.
ReplyDeleteExplain what Fast Food Nation is, giving the unknowing audience a more narrow and cohesive understanding of the book. Keep in mind, to always state the author of the book, and even give some information on who the author is and what accomplishments has the author achieved pertaining to the events discussed in the book. Maybe even discuss the author’s significance or role in the fast food industry. Another suggestion I’d propose is instead of breaking up the first two sentences of your paragraph, you could say something like “….gives you a new perspective of the teenage worker whom you’d normally see as almost a robotic fry cook flipping patties and asking “Would you like fries with that?” all day”, just to flow into the point of the example a little better. Also try not to confuse the reader and chose better transitional words to unify the paragraph such as “Evidently, According to, Considering. For example, “Considering the old dirt road represents….”. As a last suggestion, state what McDonald’s, Wendy’s, and Burger King are, assuming the reader isn’t familiar with these corporations and use cited quotations from the text to support your idea of teens following orders easier because of their inexperience and a focused motive of getting money. It is okay to build you’re argument from the texts whole using the text to prove your point, I have the same problem. Overall, you have a great concluding sentence and it gives the audience a great reference to think of the fast food restaurant and it sets an interesting tone for the rest of the piece.=)